Bringing down the HOUSSE

In April, 2009 an employee of Seattle Public Schools (let’s call her Ms. Anonymous) opened my personnel file.  Using my resume, my college and graduate school transcripts, and my current teaching assignment for reference, she filled out a one page worksheet called a HOUSSE (High Objective Uniform State Standard of Evaluation), and set in motion a chain of events that destroyed my teaching career. 

Audits, Damned Audits

Every year school districts throughout Washington are audited by the State Auditor.  In 2008, after they were done auditing Seattle Public Schools, the State Auditor released a report stating (among other things) that ‘Seattle School District No. 1 does not have adequate internal controls to ensure accuracy of Highly Qualified Teacher data’.

Federal law demands that teachers must be Highly Qualified in the subjects they are teaching.   This includes special education teachers who are teaching core subjects to special education students.  This law has been on the books for about 10 years, school districts have to comply and federal education money is tied to it.  So, it’s not good to be in violation for a number of very important reasons. 

I agree with the spirit of the law requiring teachers to be Highly Qualified.  Even special education teachers should be Highly Qualified.  Who could or would be against such a thing?  The problem comes from the practicality of implementation.  The feds left implementation up to the individual states. 

In most states the teachers are responsible for reporting their Highly Qualified status.  There are procedures and guidelines in place, including safeguards to ensure that the teacher is not providing inaccurate information.  In most instances a teacher who provides false information in order to gain Highly Qualified status will be fired.  Veteran teachers who are not Highly Qualified in the subjects they teach have 1 year to get Highly Qualified or they lose their positions. 

Washington is not like most states.  It isn’t up to the teachers to report their Highly Qualified status.  In Washington ‘District personnel have been authorized by OSPI to determine a teacher’s Highly Qualified status’.  And get this, school districts are not required to get consent from the teacher, or even inform them that the district has made a determination regarding their Highly Qualified status.  If the District has teachers teaching subjects that they are not Highly Qualified in, then the District and the teacher have to draw up a plan to get that teacher Highly Qualified. The District also has to inform parents that one of their child’s teachers is not Highly Qualified.  Sounds like a lot of work, with the potential for pissing off a lot of parents, if a district has non-Highly Qualified teachers in core subjects.  If a School District inaccurately designates one of its teachers Highly Qualified, there is no procedure in place to detect it.  The Audit revealed only that Seattle had been inconsistent in doing the reporting.   

Can you see the inherent problem here?  There is no oversight.  If a District wants to appear to comply with the requirements then they can simply use the HOUSSE worksheet, the teacher’s personnel file and designate practically any veteran teacher Highly Qualified.  Hell, they can use this form and designate anybody Highly Qualified.  How can I make such a claim? 

READ ON:

By now you may be curious about the subject that I was suddenly Highly Qualified to teach.  It’s Mathematics.  Big deal?  For me, it is. 

Math is not my best subject.  I took 3 years of math in high school, one semester of statistics in college, and a course on how to teach elementary school math in grad school.  Yes, I have taught math, but that was to students who had skills that topped out at the 5^th grade level.  You get me into anything beyond basic math and I am lost.   

Still, Ms. Anonymous in HR, using what she had in front of her on her desk, decided that I was Highly Qualified in Math.  Well, she didn’t use everything on her desk did she?  I bet there was a phone on her desk.  How incredibly easy it would have been to pick up the phone and call me.  The conversation would have been about 30 seconds long.  Maybe it would have gone like this:

RING! RING!

“Hello?”

“Mr. Cummings?”

“Yes.”

“This is Ms. Anonymous down at HR.”

“Hi, how are you?” (I am very polite).

“Fine, thank you.  Mr. Cummings I am filling out paperwork on our teachers to see if they can be designated as Highly Qualified in certain subjects, and I was about to complete the paperwork on you in order to designate you Highly Qualified in Math.”

“Math?  Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Well, stop, please.”

“What? Why?”

“Because there is no way that I should ever be considered Highly Qualified in Math.  It’s a ridiculous idea.”

“Oh, but, on your resume you state that you taught Special Education Math while you were at your last teaching job and you were there for 5 years.”

“I was at that school for 5 years but I taught Math for less than one full school year.  Besides I was teaching Special Education Math, how to make a budget and balance a checkbook, that kind of stuff.  I don’t have the education or the skills necessary to teach anything beyond that.”

“Oh! Wow, am I glad I called you, I would have made a terrible mistake that could eventually have cost you your job!”

“In that case, thank you very much; I certainly wouldn’t want that to happen!”

“Goodbye Mr. Cummings.”

“Goodbye Ms. Anonymous.”

Unfortunately that conversation never happened.  Not only that, I had no idea whatsoever that I, as a Special Education Teacher, was required to be Highly Qualified in the subjects I taught.  Yes, I co-taught math with General Education Math teachers for two school years but I mostly   dealt with classroom management issues, and sometimes (mostly in the second year), took the lead, but I had to teach myself the math first.  Am I Highly Qualified?  “Hell no!” is how my friend and former co-teacher responded when I put the question to her.

Besides, the only way I could be vulnerable to dismissal would be if they shut down the program I was in, transfer me into a Special Education Math position and demand that I teach Grade-Level (6^th, 7^th, and 8^th) CMP-2 Math to my Special Education students. 

And:

That’s exactly what happened. In June 2009, the principal at my school informed me that the program I had taught in for two years was being disbanded (a huge mistake in itself) and that the following school year I had been assigned to teach special education math.  I really had no choice, if I refused, I would have to find somewhere else to work.  I very, very reluctantly agreed. 

I was not told that I would have to use CMP-2, if I had, I would have said no and started looking for work.  CMP-2 is an absolutely ineffective curriculum even for general education kids.  If you don’t believe me, ask the US Department of Education.  Or go to Where’s The Math and read what those folks have to say.

That summer I spent way too much time (ask the wife and kids) preparing for the following year. 

I started the 2009-2010 school year more prepared than I have ever been in my entire career.  The courses I had developed were research-based and I knew that my kids would progress steadily.  I was confident, not so much in myself as a math teacher, but in my ability to create an effective method for helping my kids gain the skills that they needed.

My teaching assignment for the year was 6^th, 7^th and 8^th grade Special Education math classes plus 6^th and 8^th grade Math Improvement classes.  (Math Improvement is for all those kids who don’t pass the Math portion of the Measurement of Student Progress, Washington’s mandated test).  That amounts to 5 different courses, which is a heavy work-load.  And that’s in addition to my case-load of Special Ed kids.

I was assigned a new supervisor for the 2009-10 school year.  We met for the first time in the middle of October.  At that meeting I was ordered to abandon the curriculum that I had developed and use CMP-2 for my 3 Special Education classes.  There was no discussion allowed.  She was going to observe me in two weeks.

So, what happened?

I am a very good teacher.  I am not good at every aspect of the job, nobody is, but what I do well, I do better than most.  I am very effective with some of the hardest to reach students you would ever come across and I can get them to behave without ever having to resort to discipline referrals, or sending them to the principal.  I wrote my Master’s thesis on ways to teach Social Studies to At-risk Youth.  I make studying feudalism enjoyable!  And I can do this across ethnic, socio-economic and/or skill levels.

But I am not a math teacher (certainly not a CMP-2 math teacher); no matter what that damned HOUSSE worksheet says.  I had to teach myself much of the math that I then had to teach the kids, all while keeping up with my IEP’s and the two other classes I was still teaching. 

And this is real life, not a feel-good movie.  There would be no miracles.

In January 2010, even though my students were showing progress, I was placed on probation.  I was given until the end of April to complete the probationary period and at the end the Superintendent would receive the recommendation from my supervisor, and a 2^nd Evaluator hired by the district, as to whether my contract should be renewed. 

I gave it my best shot even though I knew that I had no chance. 

Surprisingly, I did well enough that the 2^nd evaluator recommended that my contract be renewed.  But, she was looking at the whole teacher, the one who treated his students with love and respect and who was a resource for other teachers when they were having a difficult time with a student and needed advice.  She recognized that I was an asset for the school and the District.  She also noted how hard I worked to make it through the probation successfully.  She couldn’t understand how anyone would push me into a math position in the first place.

My Supervisor saw none of that (or ignored it, I don’t know) and recommended to the Superintendent that my contract be non-renewed. 

I went to then-Superintendent Dr. Maria Goodloe-Johnson and pleaded to be given a chance to repeat the probationary period in a subject that I really had the skills to teach.  I pointed out that I had never received even 1 negative evaluation in my entire career.  I showed her the stats from the previous year where my co-teachers and I turned around some of the worst behaved kids in the school.  I asked only that I be given a fair chance.

She signed my non-renewal.

The Seattle Education Association supported me all along and continued to do so as I filed for a Due Process Hearing.  They paid for my lawyer, a mensch who has become one of my heroes.

The Due Process Hearing went on for 6 days (most go on for 1 or 2).  At the end, the Hearing Officer sided with the District.  He agreed that I had not been treated fairly but judged that the District had proceeded legally in my case.

My lawyer, my union, and I disagree with the Hearing Officer’s ruling.  There were many, many mis-steps made by my Supervisor, the School District and the Hearing Officer as well.  We filed an Appeal which will be heard in Superior Court next January.  In the meantime, I am not an employee of the District, but I am a Candidate for Seattle School Board. 

And in the end:

There aren’t any words that can describe how I felt during that year.  For 2 decades I gave my best effort to help my students- my children.  All of that was ignored as I was pushed out of my profession by a Supervisor who wanted me gone, who was completely unsupervised and who took advantage of a bad OSPI regulation to do the wrong thing. 

There is no reason to expect that she will ever ‘see the light’ about what she did.  After all, she was promoted the following school year and is now a Principal in our District.  Maybe she’ll be a Superintendent one day.  

History is filled with the stories of people who stepped on other people (and their families) on their way to success.  Sometimes they really do win.

But life is often like that isn’t it?  And as with anything in life, there is always something to learn.  I learned how people in positions of power can act badly.  I had the ‘opportunity’ to observe Dr. Maria Goodloe-Johnson’s negligence and lack of oversight in action.  I have personal experience regarding the toxic atmosphere that the good Doctor fostered and that poured down upon any employee who dared to speak out against an administrative staff that was out of control. 

Teachers throughout the State of Washington are vulnerable to the same thing that happened to me.  While I doubt that any other School District would pursue the course of action that was taken against me, I have no doubt that Seattle Public Schools would.  There has been no culture shift that would lead me to assume that the District might actually do the right thing by its teachers and treat them with the respect that a well-trained professional deserves.  There is no evidence to suggest that the current School Board would take its job seriously and actually provide real and rigorous oversight of the Superintendent.  No evidence at all.

Then again, if I am elected….

The MAP Doesn't Show Us the Way

Monday Morning- I hate being ripped off.  I don't mean the kind of ripped off like the price of a beer at a Mariners game, although what is with those prices?  I am talking about when someone convinces me to spend my money on something that turns out to be a scam.  Like herbal supplements that are supposed to give me back my full, curly head of hair in just 6 weeks costing me only 3 easy payments of $39.99 (I am speaking completely hypothetically, I mean, I am totally at peace with my widow's peak and expanding bald spot, it doesn't affect my self-esteem, and just because I wear a baseball cap doesn't mean I am hiding my hair loss, no I am not that insecure...).

I have such strong feelings about being scammed because not only did I lose money, I lost it to someone who knows that they are profiting from a lie.  I know that most of you out there, including the scammers, understand.

It's bad enough to be taken advantage of by unscrupulous people when it's just me  (and 2,000,000 other bald guys).  It's humiliating, sure, but not that big of a deal.  But when people pull off a scam against children, when kids are the victims because of the actions of crooks and liars, it is our job as parents, teachers, administrators, school board directors and legislators to confront them and stop them.

Well, guess what?  We are being ripped off right now, and this scam is affecting our children.  We as a community have been lied to by people who know what they are doing and are profiting from it.  They are draining our District of money, yes, but they are also hurting our kids.

THIS IS THE SCAM-  We have been convinced that our kids need to take standardized tests in order to pinpoint their academic deficiencies so that those deficiencies can be fixed.  The standardized tests (called assessments by the Liars) are the only way to figure out what is wrong with our children.  If we don't test the kids and help them get better skilled, then we won't be able to compete in the rapidly changing world around us. We will condemn an entire generation of children to mediocrity.  

The Scam comes at us from many different directions.  There are organizations out there who hide under the mantle of child-advocacy like a wolf in sheep's clothing and repeat the Lie over and over and over-

ACCOUNTABILITY!  DATA!  ACCOUNTABILITY!  BAD TEACHERS WITH LOW EXPECTATIONS! THE UNION IS IN THE WAY!  CHOICE! CHARTER SCHOOLS!  CLASS SIZE DOESN'T MATTER!  DATA! ASSESS! ASSESS! ASSESS! POVERTY DOESN'T MATTER!!! BAD TEACHERS ARE HURTING THE KIDS!!!!  TFA IS THE WAY!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!


These parasitic organizations are numerous.  They have innocent-grass-roots-sounding names like Alliance for Education, League of Education Voters, Our Schools Coalition, or Stand For Children.  Or they sound very official like the National Council on Teacher Quality.  They have huge amounts of money backing them up and they use that money, and the media to inundate us with crap.

And it works.

Their load of bull is piled on so high that it seeps into the brains of well-meaning people who have power and influence.  People like Oprah, or (not so sure about this one) Obama, or former mayors, or our current School Board, etc.  These are good people whose word is taken at face value, and they repeat the Lies and they use their stature to push the Lies on us and they are fools,  just like the rest of us who believe them.

In Seattle, we got Lied to and Scammed into spending a big chunk of money for the Measurement of Academic Progress (MAP), a test that is perceived as being so important that it remains safely intact while teachers (and their families) are being rif'ed and laid off.

But-

there is a wonderful something out in the midst of all this stinkiness.  This something can get obscured at times by the sheer volume of the Lies that money buys, but it can't be hidden forever.  This wonderful something can't really be beaten down and killed by all the money that Bill Gates and Eli Broad have.  No it can't be because this wonderful something is called-

The Truth 

and money can do a lot of things but it can't change that.

So, where can we find the Truth?  The Liars know.  They bring it up all the time.  It's in the Data.  I know what you are thinking- no, not about that piece of pie you shouldn't have eaten at lunch, the other thing.  Why would the Liars point out the place where the Truth is?  I mean, are they stupid?  No they aren't.  But they think we are.  We do seem a little dull-witted at times, but the reality is that most of us are just trying to get through our day.  We have bills piling up, and our jobs aren't as secure as they once were and we're tired.  But we aren't stupid.

And luckily there are people out there who have been watching out for us, keeping up the good fight until we can look up and see for ourselves what is happening to our schools and to our kids' educational well-being.  Local folks over at Seattle Education 2011, Save Seattle Schools, Where's the Math, Social Equality Educators,and Parents Across America- Seattle, as well as individual teachers and administrators, are pushing against the Lies.

Time also is an ally, because Data gathered over time helps reveal the Truth.  Check this out-

The National Academies of Science, after examining the state of our educational system since the Lie of Standardized Testing became the Law of the land under No Child Left Behind, released a report about the effectiveness of all this Standardized Testing.  And guess what-

"Nearly a decade of America’s test-based accountability systems, from “adequate yearly progress” to high school exit exams, has shown little to no positive effect overall on learning and insufficient safeguards against gaming the system, a blue-ribbon committee of the National Academies of Science concludes in a new report."

Yup.  There it is.  "little to no effect overall on learning".  <-------Truth borne on the wings of Data.

But the Word now has to get out to the people of Seattle.   We don't need any MAP to show us how to teach our kids.  The tests are pointless and do nothing more than freak out over-worked teachers who have been hurt by this bunch of Crap almost as much as our kids.  And cost us a lot of our money.

So you, the one with the pie crumbs on your shirt, listen to me.  Spread the Word about the 

"little to no effect overall on learning" 

that is the TRUTH about all these tests.  It's easy to do, just share this blog post with your friends, or link to any of the groups I listed above and share their blogs.  It's as easy as pressing a button, and that ain't no Lie.

Why I am a Candidate for School Board Part 2- Why You are Smarter than the Average Administrator

Wednesday night-   In my last post I wrote about an experience I had when I was barely an adult that stuck with me for the past 23 or so years.  It’s not as if I brooded over it constantly but the lessons I learned have surfaced on more than one occasion.  The last time was in late May, 2011.  I was avoiding some odious cleaning-related task by reading through the education blogs that have proliferated here in Seattle over the past few years.  I came across a post regarding the School Board meeting that had just taken place.  One of the district proposals that the Board had voted on concerned the grade retention policy. 

Grade retention policy?  I jumped over to the School District web-site, and then to the School Board page.  I found the agenda for this particular meeting and searched from there to find the committee meeting where this issue was discussed by the Curriculum and Instruction committee.  The PDF of the District’s proposal was linked and I clicked on it.  The first thing that popped out at me was a statement under the Background Information heading:

“It is appropriate to have a promotion/retention policy to permit promotions

 or retentions to happen; the revised D 43.00 is modeled on the WSSDA policy

 and also reflects comments offered by individual principals, the High School 

Steering Committee and the Middle School Counselors Committee.” 

School Board Briefing/Proposed Action Report, 3/17/2011

  

Who says that it is appropriate?  There is no source cited.  Mentioning that the policy is modeled on the Washington State School Directors Association’s policy is not the same as citing a source.  The proposal cites no research that backs up the assertion that retention is appropriate.  Noting that it reflects comments from some committees and individuals should mean very little to the critical thinker. 

Further down in the proposal under the Statement of Issue heading is the following:

“By revising the overarching policy (D 43.00) and repealing the grade-span specific

policies we continue to permit schools to promote or retain students, but remove

the specific obligations and requirements that bounded schools and teachers.”

            School Board Briefing/Proposed Action Report, 3/17/2011

See that?  Removing the obligations and requirements means that the District is proposing to stream-line the process to retain students.  I know that promotion is mentioned but I am not alarmed about the promotion part.  What is the rationale behind adopting a policy that makes it easier to retain a kid?

“Children who are retained may make greater academic progress the year following retention, thus lending credence to the practice of retention (Peterson, DeGracie, and Ayabe, 1987; Alexander, Entwisle and Dauber, 1994). These increases are often not lasting, however. With schools' concern about AYP, though, these increases may make a difference.”  A Perilous Policy Path: Grade Retention in the Age of NCLB Author: Pamela Powell, Ed. D., 2010 

So the District is streamlining the retention policy in order to make it look as if the school and the District made Adequate Yearly Progress?

Under the heading Research and Data Sources/Benchmarks, The District argues that the proposal is based upon the policies adopted by the WSSDDA, and the Tacoma, Spokane, and Bellevue School Districts.  And:

“In addition, a draft of the policy was brought to the High School Steering Committee

and the Middle School Counselors Committee for review and comment, and all

principals were invited to comment on the draft policies.  The draft currently in front

of the School Board reflects the best thinking of the individuals who helped review.”

School Board Briefing/Proposed Action Report, 3/17/2011

This policy reflects the best thinking.  The best.  Really?  Are you kidding me? 

There is an educated person who wrote up this fecal matter and presented it to the Directors in Committee who then approved it and sent it on to the entire Board.  Yes, I said fecal matter.  I am a candidate now so I have to watch what I say.  I’d like to use some stronger language but I am the picture of restraint and thoughtful criticism. 

There was a group of adults, most with Master’s degrees and some with administrative credentials who “reviewed” this policy draft and approved it.  Did any of them take the effort to…I dunno…look for research on this topic?  I am not saying that any of these folks should take a lot of time out of their busy schedules to trudge down to the UW library and pull out dusty tomes  for some obscure research paper that might just throw doubt onto the appropriateness of this proposal.  Not at all, that would take hours out of their day and who has the time to inconvenience themselves over something as unimportant as a child’s future.  I mean, c’mon. 

I’m not expecting hard effort here, but didn’t any of the people who looked at this even bother to go over to their computers, or better yet stop playing Angry Birds on their smart phones long enough to use the web browser to Google “Grade Retention”?  

Hey!  You!  Yes you, the person reading my blog, go ahead and try it.  Google “Grade Retention”.  

Don’t worry; I’ll be here when you get back.

If you just Googled the phrase above then you saw what I saw when I did the same thing.  You are also smarter than the Adminstrators and Counselors the Seattle Public Schools has on its payroll. 

If you want to, check out a meta analysis on grade retention that covers research done over the past 90 years (+/-) on grade retention.  I know it's 10 years old, but it's extensive and a good jumping off point for anyone who wants to delve into the research on this subject.

Over the years I have worked with kids who had been retained.  Every single one of them was humiliated by the experience.  Most of them attempted to conceal it from others, if possible.  I can’t think of any who truly benefitted from it.  In reality it damaged them.  Their self esteem was low; they still had academic/social/behavioral problems.  They were scarred by the experience. 

There should be no policy for retaining kids.  It is a failed policy, a harmful policy, and it has no place in any organization that exists to help children reach their potential.

And yet-

On the night of May 18^th The Seattle School Board voted unanimously to approve the policy which will make retaining children easier.  Unanimous.  These are the people who are ultimately responsible for our childrens' educational well-being.  Not one vote against this proposal brought forward by the best thinkers in our District. Brought forth by a representative of our Interim Superintendent.  None of the Directors took the time to do what some of you just did a few minutes ago.  They voted in ignorance of the facts and, most importantly, of the profound effect their vote will have on our most vulnerable children.

When I read about it the next day, I remembered what the Teacher said to me so long ago, 

"Everything we do carries a consequence.  Everything.  But some of us don't see the results of our actions."
and I made up my mind-

My name is John Cummings and I am a candidate for School Board Director, District 1.

Why I am a Candidate for Seattle School Board. Part 1- Cigarettes and Boiler Rooms

Monday morning-  20+ years ago I worked as an Instructional Assistant helping At-Risk students in a program that, like many good programs, didn't last very long.  I learned a lot that year about kids, poverty, F-4 Phantoms, and boiler rooms.  Yes, boiler rooms.  Let me explain, during the late '80's I was...a cigarette smoker.  Shocking, I know.  At this time not only were staff allowed to smoke on school grounds but students were allowed to smoke on school grounds too.  The difference was that the kids had to smoke outside while staff had the choice of smoking outside with the kids or going to a designated smoking area. One of those areas was the Boiler room.  It was an easy choice:

Johnny + Tobacco addiction + Vermont Winter = Boiler Room.

The guys (women staff smoked somewhere else) who hung out down there were an interesting mix of older maintenance workers, teachers and occassionally administrators (although rumor had it that they smoked in a special room with leather chairs, a fireplace and attendants who catered to their every whim).  It was quite the experience for this little Jersey boy and I am grateful to Phillip Morris for giving me the need to go down there.

One of the daily smokers was a Teacher who was also a Vietnam Veteran.  He flew F-4 Phantoms (a kick-butt jet fighter-bomber).  This was during the time when there was renewed interest in the war.  Movies like "Platoon" and "Full Metal Jacket", were made during this period and were very popular.  I remember after Platoon debuted that all of a sudden there was a proliferation of support groups and Help-Lines for Vietnam Veterans.  Some of my students' fathers were Vets and they were...damaged.

But not this Teacher.  He didn't fit the stereotype that was portrayed in the media.  He seemed relatively unscathed by his experience.

One day a student of mine, Allen (not real name) showed up at school with a black eye and a split lip.  He had gotten into an argument with his father (one of the Vets) that had turned into a beating.  It was a shock to see Allen that way.  His father took good care of him normally.  He seemed like a good guy.  He was a good guy, but he carried around images that he couldn't shake and sometimes he lost it.  His son was in the way one night and paid for it.  I was angry and judgemental and ignorant.  I took my stupidity to the Boiler room and over the next 30 mintues learned more than I had in any class I had ever taken.

I ran into the Teacher on the way down and started telling him about what had happened and what a sonofabitch Allen's dad was and I don't care that he was in the war it's not an excuse for beating up his son and maybe he is just a weak man who needs to get a grip and get on with life and be more like the Teacher who left the war behind him and isn't pitiful and full of shit and why can't he be more like you?

I had gotten pretty loud by the time I stopped to take a breath.  The room was really, really quiet even though there was the normal crowd there.  I looked around and everybody was looking at me.  That's when I started to notice.  These guys were Vets.  Not Vietnam necessarily, maybe Korea or World War 2, but they were.  They all had some token from their time in hell, maybe a pin, or an old fatigue jacket, or a baseball cap with their Division printed on it.  They stared quietly at me as the Teacher started to talk.

"John", he said.  "Allen's father was wrong to hit his son.  And being a Vet is not an excuse for what he did.  But it is a reason.  Today you saw first-hand that everything we do carries a consequence.  Everything.  But some of us don't see the results of our actions.  I never saw who I killed.  They were hidden by smoke and fire and distance.  I flew my missions and went back to my base and had a beer and maybe watched a movie or played poker with my buddies.  Guys got shot down for sure, and that was scary and hard to deal with but it was distant.  Allen's dad was on the ground, living in the consequences, walking through the consequences, eating his meals and sleeping in the consequences until they became a part of him that won't leave him alone."

He stopped talking.  Being a great Teacher, he knew when to shut up and let the lesson sink in.  The guys started up again picking up whatever they had been talking about and I sat there feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.

Everything we do carries a consequence.  Everything.  But some of us don't see the results of our actions.  

Some of us are lucky.  We get to do our damage from a distance and never see the consequences.  That doesn't make us less responsible, does it?